Hello boys and girls, back for week 7 picking. This week doesn’t have many good games, but I’m forced to do these picks at gun point, so I have no choice…Last week was a bit of a downer for me, I only got 8 correct. Last week I missed out on Atlanta, NYG, 49ers (Ugh), Eagles & Tampa Bay, which I said I wouldn’t be surprised about. So let’s get crackalackin’!
Cleveland at Seattle: Let’s kick off this snoozer week with a snoozer game. Cleveland heads to the less popular Washington to take on the abysmal Seahawks, not that the Browns are much above abysmal. Cleveland lost to Oakland last week, while Seattle had the bye. Teams coming off the bye don’t do well, probably because of the NFL’s piss-weak practice rules implemented in the new CBA. Cleveland will take it, not that many will care.
Prediction: Cleveland 27, Seattle 20
Atlanta at Detroit: After the Lions blew their shot at a continued perfect season, the Falcons come in after a solid win over the Panthers. This was my first loss for the Lions once the season started, but I have trouble sticking to it after last week’s game. The Lions will look to rebound big time, which I think they can do.
Prediction: Detroit 27, Atlanta 21
Houston at Tennessee: This game would be better if Andre Johnson was playing, especially after seeing an ACTUAL fight in the NFL. None of this weak crap they pull most of the time. Alas, it’ll be Finnegan who’ll be covering Walter, who did call Finnegan a “prick” this week (Aren’t the Bears and Bucs in England, not the Texans?). A lot will agree with this sentiment, but I actually like Finnegan, he goes against the grain and Goodell, never bad in my books! Anyhow!!! The Titans have been playing some goodish football, but Houston’s better.
Prediction: Houston 31, Tennessee 24
Denver at Miami: Luck sweepstakes game, everyone! I’m just gonna say it off the bat, I think Tebow sucks, and won’t last the season as Denver’s starter. There. Besides all that, no one cares about this game, either. Except for the evangelical Tebow wankers and the two teams’ fans. I think Denver will win, but that’s because Miami are 1-dimensional, and that 1 dimension can’t catch the ball.
Prediction: Denver 17, Miami 10
San Diego at New York: Hey! Look! A game that might be a good watch! The Chargers head to New Jersey (idiotic) to play the New York (idiotic) Jets. The Jets, like most weeks, were pretty damn bad on Monday Night Football. But if it wasn’t for Matt Moore’s horrible decision making (Simply put, throwing to Revis), then the game might’ve gone the other way. The Chargers are coming in off the bye, but they’re a lot better than the Jets, so I give them the edge.
Prediction: San Diego 33, New York 24
Chicago vs Tampa in London: God, I hate these games! Taking a perfectly normal game and shipping it off to a country where a tackling sport is ranked 4th behind Football, Football & Football (the one where you only use your feet). And the 4th ranked sport isn’t even Gridiron! Anyhow, this ridiculous crap is happening anyway, and will be through 2016, I believe. Chicago demolished the Vikings on Sunday Night Football last week, while the Buccaneers upset the Saints (unsurprisingly to me!). I think the Bears are the better overall team, but playing on a different continent is a crapshoot.
Prediction: Chicago 28, Tampa Bay 24
Washing at Carolina: Washington sucked against the Eagles, which I guess would happen eventually. While the Panthers lost out to the Falcons. This game’s a tough one to call, but I think Washington’s meltdown last week won’t have been completely restored yet, so I’m going with the Panthers.
Prediction: Carolina 24, Washington 7
Kansas City at Oakland: Kansas City are coming off the bye, which is good news for the Raiders. The Raiders beat the Browns last weekend, and are good odds to win it again this week. Boller will be their QB, but I wouldn’t be shocked if they throw Palmer in there at some point during the game. This game will be a heavy dose of Run DMC, and the Chiefs can’t stop the run. Easy win for Oakland.
Prediction: Oakland 38, Kansas City 17
Pittsburgh at Arizona: Pittsburgh beat the Jaguars pretty unconvincingly last week, while the Cardinals got the week off. Teams off the bye are bad, mmkay. So this should be an easy Steelers win.
Prediction: Pittsburgh 30, Arizona 3
St. Louis at Dallas: Rams stink! Rams stink! Rams stink! As you can tell, the Rams aren’t fairing too well and are well in the Luck stakes, which is either good news for the Rams future or bad news for Sam Bradford, who’s been pretty bad this season. Dallas got beaten by the Patriots by 6 last week, but stayed in it valiantly. The key here, is which Dallas team is going to show up? Maybe it doesn’t even matter regarding the opposition? Whichever does turn up, though, the usual Rams will also be turning up.
Prediction: Dallas 27, St. Louis 16
Green Bay at Minnesota: Do I really have to do this one? *gun holder nods head* Ugh, fine. Well, the Packers are unstoppable and the Vikings are just shit (sorry, it was coming eventually).
Prediction: Green Bay 55, Minnesota 24
And then there were two…Yet another horrible prime-time line-up. If the creator wasn’t transferred last week, then they now deserve to be FIRED!
Indianapolis at New Orleans: Only positive for the Colts in this game, is they’ll be one step closer to getting Andrew Luck. Saints win big & easy.
Prediction: New Orleans 45, Indianapolis 14
Baltimore at Jacksonville: Even though the Jags put up a good fight (or Steelers just sucked, I’m not sure), this week gets even harder. The Ravens are dominating everyone right now. Blaine Gabbert may retire before the season’s over for the Jags.
Prediction: Baltimore 24, Jacksonville 0
Welp, there we are. Enjoy this week of rather boring Football!